Sisters

My sister Sabine has been suffering from schizophrenia for more than 15 years. Despite this serious illness, she has managed to build a happy and fulfilling life for herself - and I couldn't be more proud of her.

The onset of Sabine’s illness came as a great shock to all of us. She was under a lot of stress at the time - she had difficult exams at university and many worries in her personal life. In late summer we noticed that something was changing in her. I remember that our brother was the first to say: 'Something has changed in you.’ Later she told us that she heard voices that frightened her. Finally, she asked us to take her to hospital. The doctors there diagnosed a “stress syndrome with sensory symptoms” and she stayed in the hospital for two weeks. 

When she came home, she seemed better at first. But at home she slipped deeper and deeper into a situation of despair. She had visual hallucinations, strange bodily sensations, taste hallucinations and ideas of being persecuted. Her thoughts were full of negative emotions, and she often seemed depressed and confused. It was a very difficult time for all of us, but especially for Sabine. She agreed to be taken to hospital again and there they diagnosed her with schizophrenia.

At first, she didn't want to accept the diagnosis. She couldn't believe it and tried to hide the disease. She didn't talk about it, and it was difficult to find a way to reach her. She just didn't want to admit what was happening to her. But as time went on, she could no longer deny that she was ill. 

Eventually she began to come to terms with it. The fact that there is still a certain taboo about talking about mental illness made the process even more difficult. But she eventually could live with the concept that a mental illness is just as much an illness as diabetes. 

In the beginning, Sabine had a lot of trouble with the medication. The thought of being dependent on medication for the rest of her life was almost unbearable. She often told me that she would reduce the dose when she felt better. Sometimes she would stop taking it altogether because she thought she no longer needed it. There were times when she would only take half or a quarter of a tablet, hoping that she would be better off without the medication. It was too much for her to stick to the prescribed dose. But now she has learned that medication is important for protecting and preserving her life. However, even with medication, there are still difficult periods when she does not feel well. But she has learnt to deal with them and knows that they will pass.

In addition to medication, psychotherapy has played an important role in her treatment. Sabine was lucky enough to get a place on a health insurance scheme and she took this therapy very seriously. She learnt a lot about herself and gained a better access to her own feelings and thoughts. We always supported her. Her friends, her partner - they all helped her through this difficult time. 

Despite her illness, she managed to complete her veterinary degree. She had always dreamed of becoming a vet since she was a child. Either that or a 'people doctor', as she put it as a child. Her unwavering will, tenacity and a little bit of luck, along with her belief that she could do it, helped her achieve her goal. Her belief in what she could achieve was crucial. She kept picking herself up, even when it was very difficult.

Of course, it was also very difficult for us as relatives. It is incredibly painful to see a family member in such a difficult situation and we often felt helpless. But over time we realised that patience is the key to success. The person with the disease has to find his or her own way. Pressurizing and lecturing are usually the wrong approach, even though it is very difficult as a relative to just watch without being able to intervene. We had to learn not to be too critical, but also not to be too protective.

Her journey was not easy, but she never gave up. She learnt to live with her illness and today she gives other people the strength to do the same. I admire her and her strength.